Thursday, May 17, 2012

Angry Man Hates #1: The Left Lane Asshole

I was driving to work today....well this is everyday......and once again the left lane is jammed up with a bunch of slow driving, non passing, assholes (See Illustration).  I can't begin to tell you how angry this makes me.

These mother fuckers, usually driving a mini van with bumper stickers like "I live for Fridays" sit in the left lane texting (who the fuck are you texting at 7am?), playing with the radio or otherwise oblivious to the world.  I know this because all the time I spend trying to pass,I am giving them the finger and honking my horn at them.

Plus once I get the chance to pass, I move up to even with them and try to get their attention so I can alert them that they are being a cock.  But alas, they are too intrigued with the radio telling them what a whore Kim Kardashian is.

The sad thing is, once I do get past d-bag number one, d-bag number two is but a mile down the road.  So the dance goes on, me firing out curse words and middle fingers and this asshole left laning me.

What is really ridiculous is it's against the law for these pieces of shit to be in the left lane.  Several states have signs up as well as detailed laws such as Colorado's which states:

"A person shall not drive a motor vehicle in the passing lane of a highway if the speed-limit is sixty-five miles per hour or more unless such person is passing other motor-vehicles that are in a non-passing lane.."

But will the cops ever pull them over and write them a ticket so they learn a fucking lesson....NOPE! They would rather try to give me a reckless driving ticket for having to illegally pass on the right to get around our resident moron.  People with an IQ of six need corporal punishment. They like dogs learn by association. They don't learn by logic and thought, they learn by burning the fuck out of their hands on the stove and realizing that is not good.

I know this isn't going to get better, in fact it will probably get worse.  But if I can just get one asshole out of my way, I will consider it a success.

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